


The beauty of family

by CGJ



Series: The ways of Levi [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Acker-interactions, And titles, F/M, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Siblings, Not siblings but still related, We needed more Mikasa and Levi interaction, ackerbond, lost scenes, so i did it myself, we were robbed I tell you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:14:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29553378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CGJ/pseuds/CGJ
Summary: "The last two of their kind, bonded together by promises to others, by their shared love for another, a deep understanding of each other like no other."Mikasa contemplates her relationship with the Captain, who teaches her more at every turn.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Mikasa Ackerman, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Series: The ways of Levi [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171247
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	The beauty of family

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Beyond Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737249) by [NoMoreTears707](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoMoreTears707/pseuds/NoMoreTears707). 



Captain Levi was a horrible person.

This was the first impression that Mikasa got of the surly man. Whatever the reason, that shorty had gone too far. He hadn’t needed to hurt Eren that way! There had been no need to beat him until his tooth fell out!

Mikasa ignored Eren’s futile attempts to convince her that it had been for his own good. That short bastard had hurt Eren and that was all she needed to know. She would protect Eren from anyone who threatened him, and she would have to do it by herself, because he clearly wasn’t going to.

Now the list included him as well.

This venture however, was impaired by the fact that Eren was enraptured by his new squad, and enamoured with the soldier. He followed him around like a little dog, eager to please. Mikasa could not be sure what the man was doing to Eren. She did not understand why Eren seemed to like that little monster so much. This was why she had to protect him!

It wasn’t just Eren who ignored her concerns. Armin did not understand as well. She had thought that Armin would have understood her concerns, but she had been wrong. 

“I don’t think the Captain would hurt Eren, if that’s what you’re thinking”, is what Armin had told her when she had expressed her concerns to him over dinner. “It would be extremely impractical of them to hurt him in any way since, well, he is a huge asset to humanity. And besides, the Commander and Captain have been fighting these titans for humanity for a very long time. They wouldn’t hurt us. Don’t worry, Mikasa!”

But even Armin’s words of wisdom did little to assuage her worry. She rarely saw Eren, since they were in different squads, and she got to speak to him even less. They could be doing anything in there to him and she would not know. She was sure that they were not treating Eren well.

When Mikasa found out about what those freaks had done to Eren, they could be sure that she would come for their heads. Humanity’s strongest soldier or not, Mikasa would protect Eren from him.

* * *

Eren was safe. He was alive.

That was all that mattered to Mikasa as she watched Eren be patched up by the soldiers who remained. She ignored Armin’s worried questions and strode up to the carts.

“Is Eren all right? Is he badly hurt?” she questioned, but she was not given an answer. She opened her mouth again.

“Oi brat, stand back and let the men do their job”. Mikasa whipped around and came face to face with Captain Levi. He looked impassive as ever, face as cold as ice, but Mikasa could see the miniscule amount of pain that his eyes betrayed. 

A feeling of guilt washed over her. It had been because of her that the Captain had gotten hurt. She had allowed her emotions to cloud her judgement, and he had injured himself saving her. 

He had also saved Eren and for that, she was thankful to him. No one could understand how important Eren was to her. She did not care what she had to do to keep him safe. And he had not questioned her faith that Eren was alive, but had helped her. 

She still did not like him. But she could respect him now, now that she knew he would not hurt Eren.

* * *

It was no surprise to her that Annie was the female titan. There had always been something off about her, and the news did not affect her. She had never been particularly fond of Annie and this revelation hardly bothered her.

However, it seemed to bother Eren a great deal. He was shaking in his seat, eyes full of anger and sadness. Mikasa wanted to comfort him, reach out and take his hand, but Eren would have to face this reality. There was nothing she could do.

Mikasa let her eyes wander so that she could control the overwhelming impulse to reach out to Eren. Her eyes fell on the Captain, because of course they did, and he was staring at something with a unusual look in his sharp eyes. It did not look like something that would belong on a face like his.

Following his gaze led her to the face of the Commander. Mikasa had no feelings for the Commander. She respected him like she did every superior officer. Why was the captain looking at him this way? What did he think of him?

“You know,” Armin spoke from his place next to her, “that look is kind of similar to the one you make when you look at Eren”. Perhaps he had been joking, but Mikasa could now see him much more clearly.

* * *

Since that day, Mikasa did not see much of either of them, much less together. However, in the moments where she could, she paid close attention to their interactions.

The captain was a blunt individual, straight to the point. He showed no emotion and wore a hard, cold mask on his face. The Commander was much the same, although he was not as cold and uninviting as the Captain.

Mikasa could only see it because she was looking. The way the Captain’s eyes always softened just the tiniest bit, how his expression morphed into one of worry and affection whenever he looked at the Commander. How their hands brushed just the tiniest bit every so often, and how the Commander himself seemed to look at him.

She saw how they were able to communicate without the use of their words, and close they were was truly evident, but only in the eyes of one who was looking. It was clear to Mikasa that their bond was stronger than any other. They had formed a bond of unbreakable trust and unparalleled understanding, forged by 6 years of shared experiences in a brutal war. But it was more than that as well. 

She saw the small things. How the Captain seemed to mellow in the presence of Commander Erwin, how the Commander smiled a secret smile only for him, how they seemed to mirror each other’s movements and thoughts. She saw how much the Captain cared about the Commander, and how much the Commander cared as well.

* * *

It was strange, being part of squad Levi. It certainly was less exciting than she had expected.

Her body still ached from being grabbed by the titan, but she would not sit down and rest. She had too keep on working if she was going to be able to fight and protect Eren.

The Captain usually left for a while, presumably to visit the Commander as he recovered, and he drilled them on different maneuvers on their ODM gear. It was gruelling even for someone with her strength and stamina. 

The Captain though, was a shockingly patient teacher. He did not yell or scold them like she was sure he would, but corrected their mistakes and pushed them even harder. 

Naturally, accidents did happen. Sasha and Connie tripped each other up way too often, Historia was often unfocussed and did not watch where she was going, and Eren sometimes got too carried away trying to impress the Captain. 

One such incident was when the Captain had executed a difficult flip, and as they hurried to imitate him, Eren got tangled up in his wires and proceeded to begin to fall. Out of the corner of her eye, Mikasa saw Jean head to catch him, but she had to save Eren! 

Mikasa shot her lines and managed to catch Eren before he hit the ground. She landed, and was surprised to see the Captain heading towards her, fury in his eyes. Eren hurried to scramble out of her grasp, and she saw Sasha and Connie lower a dazed Jean to the ground.

“What the hell were you doing, brat? Do you think this is a fucking joke? You are going to run laps all around this fucking farm until you pass out! Got it?”

Mikasa stared at him defiantly. She did not care about the punishment. She had saved Eren, and she would do it again. She started her rounds while the Captain ushered the rest of her teammates into the house.

It was around dinner time when Sasha came outside to fetch her. Mikasa was only slightly out of breath, and she could have kept going for a while longer.

“The Captain wants to see you”, Sasha whispered, as though she were speaking sinful things. “ He looked like he was really mad. If you don’t make it out, can I have your potatoes?” Mikasa levelled an unimpressed stare at her, and Sasha squirmed.

She entered the Captain’s room. It was immaculate, spotless. The Captain was waiting for her as he paced the room. He looked up at her as she entered and Mikasa prepared herself for a lecture. The Captain’s eyes seemed to bore into her, and Mikasa felt slightly unsure. But she recovered. She had done it for Eren.

He wouldn’t understand.

“Well? Do you mind explaining what in fucking Wall Sina possessed you this morning to put the life of your comrade in danger?” “Eren was in danger. I had to save him”. She refused to address him by his title, and he didn’t ask this time.

“You do realize that Jaeger was perfectly capable of saving himself, don’t you?” He walked up to her and grabbed her head. “Do you trust Eren, Mikasa?”

Of course she trusted Eren! He was so brave and kind. 

It was why she loved him. It was why she had to protect him.

“Of course I do”.

“You don’t seem to trust that he can protect himself from harm. Is that why you swoop in to save his ass from every single thing that tries to come near him?” She did not respond, and the Captain sighed. His hand fell off her head, and the spot felt cold.

“I understand how you feel. The need to protect someone and keep them safe from harm, that you don’t want to lose them. I get it. But this isn’t about you or Eren. You need to open your eyes and see the bigger picture. There are others who depend on you now. You cannot put them at risk to do what you want at will. We are a team, and we need to have each other’s backs.”

He dismissed her after a few choice words, but Mikasa could not forget their conversation. He seemed to know exactly what she felt, even if he had not said so in so many words. He knew how she felt about Eren and that she had needed to save him. He seemed to get it.

Perhaps someone else did understand her.

* * *

“There are rumors”, whispered Sasha. Connie leaned towards her, eyes wide, eagerly awaiting whatever she had to say. Mikasa tuned them out as much as she could. Ever since they had joined the Captain’s squad, all Sasha and Connie seemed to talk about was the nature of the relationship between the Captain and the Commander, made even worse by the fact that Squad Leader Hanji seemed to enjoy encouraging these rumors whenever she visited.

“Mikasa, you have to hear this!” Eren yelled to her, and she could never refuse Eren. “I am aware that the Captain and Commander have romantic feelings for each other. There is no need to tell me.”, she said hoping that she would be excluded from the pointless conversation.

“…” The silence was disconcerting, and caused Mikasa to raise her head. She found her comrades looking at her with varying degrees of amusement, excitement, horror and surprise. Was that not what they were talking about?

“We… we were just talking about the rumours that the Commander dragged the Captain into the Survey Corps.” Mikasa felt the heat rush to her face, and buried her head in her scarf. ”Yeah, Petra told me once that the Captain had been a rogue in the capital’s underground.” Eren interjected, clearly hoping to steer the conversation away from the possibility of their superiors engaging in any form of romantic activity. 

Mikasa knew nothing about the underground, except that it was full of the worst kinds of people. She could see why the Captain respected the Commander, if he had indeed been saved from a place like that.

It certainly explained the utter devotion she saw in his eyes when he looked at the Commander, the same kind she felt as she looked at Eren. And the Commander seemed to be just as devoted to him.

They were equals, bound together mind and soul, having reached a level of understanding that she hoped to reach one day with Eren. She envied their bond, just for a moment. The way they did not need to say a word before the other understood. The way they were so close, they were practically the same person.

She knew, that Eren was not as devoted to her as she was to him, and she did not expect him to be. She was perfectly happy, as long as she could just be with him. There was nothing else that she wanted.

And yet, she couldn’t help but wonder if he loved her like she loved him. If Eren and Mikasa would ever be like Erwin and Levi.

* * *

Eren had been captured again. Mikasa had failed to protect him once again.

And there was nothing she could do now. They were on the run, hiding away biding their time, and Mikasa had always disliked waiting.

She wanted to go find Eren immediately. She had no idea what was happening to him. 

If anything happened to him, she would never be able to live with herself.

“I hope you aren’t thinking about running off and saving that shitty brat by yourself, Ackerman”. Mikasa turned around to find the Captain walking up to her. 

She realised the weight of the message he was trying to covey to her. This was no time for her to be impulsive and reckless. She was part of the Survey Corps, and she could not be so narrow minded as to expect everyone to throw away their lives due to her desire to save Eren. She would have to control her emotions. It was bad enough that the Captain had been forced to restrain her earlier. 

She frowned as she realised that the Commander was also being held as a prisoner, deprived of food or water, and being abused by the military police. Just like Eren could be. And yet, the Captain was calm and controlled. He wasn’t rushing off to save him on a whim, or letting his worry influence his decisions. It was something to admire, the way the Captain was able to put aside his feelings even though all his instincts must be screaming at him to protect the one he loved.

If he could do it, Mikasa would endeavour to do the same. She would listen to his directions. He was a Captain for a reason, and she knew that he also had Eren’s well being in mind. She wasn’t quite sure when she had gone from hating him to trusting him. 

But she now knew that she could depend on her comrades. They were her friends. She trusted them. They would save Eren and bring him back safely. They could do it.

It was a strangely comforting feeling.

* * *

There had been so much going on lately. Mikasa had never expected things to get this complicated when she had joined the Survey Corps. And yet here she was with Humanities strongest soldier, who was also apparently, technically, family.

It was a strange thing to digest. Mikasa chose not to dwell on it too much. But there was some strange comfort that she felt, knowing that she wasn’t the last of her bloodline. It hadn’t bothered her particularly, but her father had never mentioned his family to her and she had been curious. 

Well, she had all her answers now. There was no point in dwelling on it. The Captain had told her everything and had answered all her questions. It changed nothing, really.

She wondered about that man who had tried to kill them all. Kenny, his name was. Kenny Ackerman.

She couldn’t imagine sharing her blood with that vile man. The way he had leered at them all and slaughtered their comrades without abandon. She was glad he was no more.

It must have been a terrible experience, being raised by such a man only for him to try to kill you. And he had been the Captain’s close family and he had never known until the end. His only family was now dead. 

He had the Commander, he had his comrades, but his link to his past, the one who raised him was no more. Mikasa did know the pain of losing one’s parents. Without the kindness Eren had showed her, she would have been empty. Lifeless. She might even be dead. But he had given her a reason to fight. It was the same for the Captain.

He had done everything for Commander Erwin. Could she hate him for what he’d made Historia do? She thought about the way she had told Historia to punch him. He’d smiled at them. Smiled. 

It must have been difficult for him to take those decisions while worrying for the life of his loved one. Perhaps he was relieved that everything had turned out alright.

She could not stop thinking about that smile. Before this, she had considered him incapable of showing any sort of emotion. The smile itself conveyed relief and gratitude. But it looked stiff, as if smiling was something difficult to do. Like he’d never done it before. But there had been warmth in his eyes, the likes she’d never seen before from him.

She suddenly felt rather ashamed for telling Historia to hit him. Historia had needed it, of course, but it had given her a bit of pleasure as well. She was being rather hypocritical. He had done what needed to be done, and was willing to be called a lunatic for it. Could she fault him for doing what needed to be done? Perhaps she would have done the same in his position. She would do anything for Eren.

And, she thought, even when he had beaten up Eren, had he not done it to protect him? Without the assistance of the Survey Corps, Eren would be dead. And Mikasa was not foolish enough to be quite sure that she could have saved him.

All this time, she had refused to believe that the Captain was anything but cruel. But he was just a soldier carrying out his duty, despite what others may think of him. She felt bad for having ever wished pain upon him. 

Perhaps, after the war was over, they could try to know more about each other. They understood each other in a way no one else did. Perhaps it would be a good thing for both of them.

* * *

You never truly understood how much someone meant to you until they left you.

Mikasa had never strayed from Armin’s side ever since they had returned from Shiganshina. It had been so painful, almost too painful to bear, the feeling that she might have lost Armin forever. She would be forever grateful to the Captain for electing to save Armin.

Though why he did was beyond her. It was clear that he loved Commander Erwin, and losing him had hurt in a way that was now irreparable. The Captain looked like a walking corpse now. He seemed aimless, adrift. Broken, in a way that could never be healed. 

She would not know the feeling. She hadn’t lost the one person that kept her going, the one for whom she fought with all her might. Given the choice in his position, she would have chosen Eren if need be. She would never understand the Captain’s decision, but she was grateful nonetheless.

“I’m really worried about him.” Commander Hanji confessed to her one day. “He’s so quiet nowadays. It’s like he’s a completely different person. He hasn’t been the same ever since…”

She trailed off, sadness flashing in her good eye, but Mikasa understood.

Hanji continued with a rueful smile. “ I never really understood how close they were. They were so close that I couldn’t make sense of it myself. Erwin never behaved that way with anyone else. Levi truly was someone special to him”.

Mikasa said nothing. She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck.

The warmth failed to comfort her.

* * *

She had never been good with hair.

Her long black locks were now missing from her head. There had been a training accident and Mikasa’s hair had been an unfortunate casualty. 

Mikasa liked her hair. Her mother had loved to try different styles on it, and Eren had run his hand through her hair many times as a show of affection. She was not particularly interested in her hair by itself, but she had fond memories with it that she treasured.

She had never expressed any interest in learning how to care for it outside of combing or washing it every now and then. Even when she had cut off her long hair while training, Armin had had to neaten it up for her.

She was no better with her hair now. Most of it was gone and she wanted to look at least presentable. But it seemed to be a fruitless endeavour.

Sighing, she got up from her place in front of the mirror and headed out. Perhaps she would ask Armin to smoothen it out for her. 

On her way out, she passed the Captain, who’s eyebrows raised in a way that could have been comical if not for his severe expression.

“The fuck did you do to your hair, you gloomy brat? Did you try shaving it off or something?”

Mikasa had to explain the unfortunate incident to the Captain. It would be impolite not to do so. The Captain simply stared at her when she mentioned that she wanted Armin to fix it for her. Mikasa waited for his judgement to rain on her so that she could leave and get it fixed.

“Give it here.” Mikasa looked at his outstretched hand and tried to make sense of what she was seeing. Surely the Captain was not offering to fix her hair? As if he could sense her inhibition, he replied to her unspoken question “I cut my own hair, brat. I can fix that shitty mess on your head that passes for hair right now.”

Bewildered, Mikasa handed the comb and scissors to him and followed him as he pushed past her and headed to his quarters. All she could do was follow him as he strode away with purpose. He opened his door and glared at her pointedly. Mikasa slipped in without a word, astonished by the weirdness of the whole affair.

He sat her down and pointedly began to cut her hair. She could hear the snipping sound of the scissors as her hair was cut, and tiny pieces of her hair fell to the floor. It was silent, but oddly enough, it was not a tense, awkward sort of atmosphere that she usually found herself in while in such a situation. It was rather soothing to be here with the Captain’s hands working away at her hair. Mikasa felt herself relax, and suddenly she could feel the exhaustion gathered up in her body.

The Captain’s hands were gentle in a way one could hardly imagine a person like him could be. It felt nice, like the way it felt when her mother would run her hands through her hair while she whispered sweet words to her.

“Mikasa, my sweet baby girl. My little angel. You wouldn’t hurt a fly, would you darling?”

Alas, Mikasa was no longer the same person. The cruel nature of the world around her had changed her. But if there was one thing she had learnt from her mother, it was that beauty could be found anywhere if one truly sought to find it.

The world was cruel, but also beautiful.

It was something she never intended to forget. 

Mikasa was startled to hear her own voice piercing the comfortable silence that had settled between them. “My mother used to do this for me when I was younger.” The Captain didn’t speak, just hummed a sound to show that he was paying attention. “She would do all sorts of things with my hair, and I would insist on doing hers. I would mess her hair up and get it all knotted up but she would only laugh at it and tell me she loved it.”

There was no sound from either of them for the next few seconds, and Mikasa could feel the heat creep up her cheeks from embarrassment. Why did she even open her mouth? She was usually more controlled than this. She hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a long time.

“My mom used to cut my hair as well.”

“We lived in some shitty hole down there without proper sunlight or food or water. My mom was the only good part of my life. She would cut my hair even though I had picked up on how to do it myself. I never told her I knew how to do it just so that I could feel her hands running through my hair.”

Mikasa remained silent and unmoving, although she was shocked at the strange turn of events. She was seeing parts of the cold captain that he had not revealed to anyone except Commander Erwin. She felt strangely honoured in a way. He had opened up to her of all people about something he had clearly hidden away. Perhaps he wanted someone to talk to now that the one person who had truly understood him was gone.

“She used to tell me that no matter what the world threw at me, I was to remember that life was a truly beautiful thing, and that I should value others’ just as much as I valued mine.” A pause. “Well, I obviously didn’t follow it very well.” She wondered if he had felt bad about killing so many people while on the run. Given his mother’s advice, she felt that he would have preferred not to kill them.

“My mother taught me that I could find beauty in everything, even in the most inconsequential things in life.” He just said simply, “that’s good advice.” She hummed in approval.

She felt a strong connection to the Captain. The cruel world had changed him just as it had changed her. He had had everything ripped away from him so violently, and had experienced the worst humanity could offer. 

Mikasa had not had a happy life, but she had known other things, had experienced something other than having to fight for her life every single minute, even if it was a long time ago. Even if it was brief, she had known happiness.

But even though the world had taken everything from him, he remained strong. The cruelty he had faced had not been able to take away his humanity. He had hidden it away under a wall of ice and coldness, but when one broke away at the wall and allowed the sunlight to enter, they could see the colours beyond, reflected through the wall of clear, pure crystal, dancing around in a beautiful way.

Despite his attitude at first glance, he was one of the kindest people she knew. The wells of compassion and kindness within him knew no bounds, and he was ferociously loyal to those he trusted. He may not have been nice, but he was good.

She wondered if anyone had told him that…

She felt his hands leave her head, and instantly missed the warmth and comfort that had vanished along with it. He dusted his hands and glanced around at the mess with a look of thinly veiled disgust in his eyes. “All done, brat.”

Mikasa observed herself in the mirror, and was surprised and delighted by what she saw. The Captain was by no means a stylist, but she loved her new hairstyle all the same.

This was another memory she would cherish. 

“Now that you don’t look like a ruffled dog, we can clean this up and have tea.” He looked at her, as if questioning whether she would take him up on his offer. She agreed, much to his surprise, which again, Mikasa could only see because she was looking.

“Thank you, Captain.” He shrugged and turned to walk away, no doubt going to prepare the tea for the both of them. She felt a sudden feeling of what could be called fondness in her heart.

“Captain?” “What?”

“I think you are beautiful, too.”

He didn’t say anything, but for once, his eyes betrayed him, if only for a minute.

He looked moved, touched. 

“Thank you, Mikasa.” And he smiled. Just like he had only once before, two years ago. This time, she smiled back.

It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen.

* * *

The Captain was asleep when they arrived at the forest. Jean and Hanji were sitting with him, while keeping an eye on their Marleyan guests.

It was a while before the hostilities settled down between them. The Commander seemed to despise them with a prejudice, and the only reason he had not fired at them with his rifle seemed to be the cart titan Pieck.

With the tentative peace in mind, she quietly made her way to his side with her friends following right behind her. The Captain looked awful, in a way she had never seen him before. 

She had been doing that a lot recently, seeing people in a way she had never seen before.

The memory of Eren telling her he hated her came uninvited to the forefront of her mind, and she pushed it away to the dark depths of her mind. Now was not the time to get emotional.

She endeavoured to focus her mind on something, and her eyes landed on the Captain once more. He looked fragile, like he could shatter at any moment. He seemed to be holding on by the sheer power of his will. He would not be able to walk, let alone fight.

After he had fought all this time for the one he loved, and it had been a lie…

Hanji made a disapproving noise as he stirred, and turned his head to face her, and she felt the same way she had felt back in the cabin on the farm, all those years ago. 

“The hell’s wrong with you, brat? You look constipated or something.” Beside him, Hanji snorted and pointedly looked away once the Captain glared at her. Jean seemed to sense something she could not feel and pointedly made his way to the group. Hanji too, followed him. It was just her and the Captain.

“Did you hear what I said? I expect an answer someday.” “It’s nothing, Captain. Please get some rest.”

“If I rest any more you’ll all forget about me. It’d be a damn shame. Now, answer my question.”

Mikasa did not want to remember any of what had transpired earlier. She wanted to focus on the goal at hand. To stop Eren.

But the mere mention of Eren seemed to dredge up that memory, and all she could hear was “I’ve always hated you, Mikasa.” It played on loop in her mind, and made her feel lost.

“It’s just that… Eren…he said…some things…”

The Captain, to his credit, remained silent. “He said that…the Ackermans…that is, my family, that we would awaken our true power when we find a host…and that we become slaves to that host…”

Memories rose up in her mind. 

“Promise me, Mikasa, that you’ll look after Eren.”

She shut her eyes as her vision blurred without her consent. Everything she had experienced, everything she knew had been a lie-

“I’ve never heard anything as fucking stupid as that before.”

Mikasa whipped her head up to meet the eyes of the Captain. He looked angry, but also serene. Even a little amused.

“But it is the truth! I never knew Eren at all! I only saw the parts of him that I wanted to see, and I did whatever he said. I did everything for him! And yet…it was all a lie in the end. Everything I knew…was…a lie…”

“Do you really believe that?”

“ How can it be false? Eren said so and-“

“Then he lied.”

What?

"What?"

“He lied. Maybe he wanted to push you away to keep you safe or some shit. Maybe he didn’t want you around while he went through with his plan. I never really understood half the shit that went through that brat’s weird head.”

“But Captain, I-“

“Are you really going to believe this? That all everything you’ve experienced, everything you’ve learnt, every choice you’ve made, everything you’ve thought, everything you’ve felt, was all a lie?”

“But Eren said-“

“And what does Eren know? Does he know what you felt? Has he felt everything you have felt? Has he made the same choices you have made? Has he commanded you to do anything you did not want to?”

“No! He never said…I…But my headaches!”

“What headaches?”

“I have headaches frequently, and Eren said that it is my real self disagreeing with what he wants me to do. He says that she died when my power awoke in me.“

“I didn’t think this could get even dumber, but here we are!”

“…Captain?”

“That’s bullshit, brat. I never had any headaches.”

“You didn’t?”

“Never.”

“But then…why did I…”

He sighed. ”I don’t know. Maybe there’s something wrong with your head.”

“…”

“Look. We have all experienced many things, different things, different feelings. You have felt, learnt, suffered and grown. Those were not lies. I know that everything I have ever experienced was true, just as only you know what in your life is true and what is not. However, I know this about you. Everything you did for Eren, you chose to do for him. It is because you care for him.

It is because you love him.”

Mikasa shook. Her eyes teared up. Everything wasn’t…Eren had lied…but she…

It was not a lie…

Everything was real.

She had done it all for Eren. It had been her choice. Not a lie.

A single, lone tear made it’s way down her cheek. As if to signify the clearing of her doubts, washed away in the sea of hope and love.

And for the first time in a long time, she smiled, easy and free.

She glanced at the captain and saw the way his cold eyes seemed to glisten. She saw the way the stars did shine in the dark, black sky. She saw the bright light of the fire as it swayed merrily, illuminating the faces of her comrades in a surreal glow.

She remembered the Captain’s smile, the one he had smiled just for her. She remembered her days in training, surrounded by friends. She remembered her parents’ embraces, a warm feeling during the cold days. She remembered running through the streets of Shiganshina, as Eren laughed, a beautiful sound that had thrilled her very being to it’s core.

The world was cruel. But it was so very beautiful. 

She would not forget that. Even in her darkest hour. She would fight for this world and save the one she loved.She had people with her. She was not alone in this world. She had Armin, another one of her closest friends. Jean, Connie. They were her friends. Her family.

She turned her eyes back to him, the one who had lost it all, and yet kept moving forward, powering through the pain to give meaning to the life of the one he had loved. 

He was just like her, the one person who could ever hope to truly understand the other. 

She looked at the Captain. He had closed his eyes once more, taking slow, deep breaths. She felt the familiar feeling of understanding, of caring, of pride. But there was something else. Something new.

It felt like family.

The last two of their kind, bonded together by promises to others, by their shared love for another, a deep understanding of each other like no other.

A Captain and subordinate. A mentor and student.

Two induviduals. So alike and yet so different. But both connected, nonetheless.

Family.

Mikasa smiled. She had always loved the idea of family. The thought...it was...

Beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi and thanks for reading this! A few things to note:
> 
> 1.These are just Mikasa's thoughts with respect to Levi. She isn't always thinking about him.
> 
> 2.No Mikasa/Levi please. Not in the comments of this story. It's not like that here.
> 
> 3.Mikasa doesn't compare her relationship with Eren to the Eruri pair all the time. It was just a small fleeting moment of introspection. Mikasa's bond with Eren is unique and beautiful in it's own way. And she knows it.
> 
> 4\. We needed more interaction between the Ackermans. Erwin and Eren respectively know more about Levi and Mikasa as people and are the most dear to their hearts, but only the Ackermans can so deeply understand this part of themselves, i.e, why they fight.
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment if you enjoyed this. I would really appreciate it!
> 
> Also, I can't decide who to write about next in this series, so suggestions would be most welcome. But not Erwin, because I am not yet worthy enough a writer to write Eruri. Thank you.


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